Max Payne

Location – GSC Pavilion

After having watched a few movies with mixed feelings, I was well hyped up for this one. Roughly after the success of the Matrix, came a shoot-em-up game called Max Payne which used Matrix type of slow-mo shots (which was called bullet time in the game) to great effect delighting millions and creating a rather large fan base. Already feeling down in terms of movie picking, I was sure that my luck would change with Max Payne. It’s got guns, dark storyline, flying bat like creatures and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch! Surely I’ve picked a winner here?

Not the Funky Bunch

The movie revolves around a cop named Max Payne (Mark Whalberg) who found his wife and child murdered a few years back and hasn’t been the same since. He decides to transfer himself from the homicide department to the unsolved cases department hoping to find clues on the person who had killed his family. As the story progresses, we learn more about the shady underworld Max lives in, which involves unexplained murders and hard drugs.

[SPOILER ALERT]

Max then gets caught up in a murder case involving a girl he meets at a party. Unknowingly to him however, this murder is also related to his family’s murder case. With Max being the last person seen with her, the police start to name Max as the prime suspect in the murder case. Max then goes all out to prove his innocence as well as picking up more clues on the mystery that surrounds the killing of his family.

Red bull gives you wings apparently

I’d have to say from a fan’s point of view, this movie is deeply disappointing. If you’ve played the game, you’d realized the fast paced action right from the start which is non existence in the movie. The action takes too long too start and only after 15-20 minutes, do you get a hint of action (I think Max wiped his nose or something). It is also amazingly frustrating everytime Max has a flashback about his family. This doesn’t happen once or twice, but more times than somebody actually getting shot in this film. Storyline is obviously important in any movie and I understand that the game had a fantastic one too, but in no way do we want to be reminded of Max’s feelings everytime he thinks about his love ones. Less love more guns please. Even the appearance of Mila Kunis was so limited in the movie that you even wondered what she was doing there in the first place. If they had just stayed with the normal format of endless violent I’m sure a lot more people would have been entertained. Instead, everybody now feels a little bit more depressed about everything. SIGH.

Rating – 2.5/5

Is Nothing Like - T-Pain

Disaster Movie

Location – One Borneo Kota Kinabalu

Food – Popcorn, coke and some waffles

Looking at the screen above I had 2 choices to make, fun filled excitement on the right, or unsure future on the left? This is the general feeling when it comes to actually paying money for spoofs. The uncertainty far exceeds any other type of genres you might be more familiar with. Either way, I knew from the title that the next 75 minutes of my life would past right before my very eyes and would be just as it said it would; a disaster.

As always Kanye West was never fully accepted by his peers

The movie is a spoof of recent disaster films and other assorted films such as The Hulk, Ironman, The Dark Knight, Juno and High School Musical (which is probably a disaster movie as well). The film revolves around Will (Matt Lanter) who dreams of the world ending on a very specific date which has something to do with returning a crystal skull (Indiana Jones 4) to its rightful place. His girlfriend Amy (Vanessa Minnillo) thinks he is making it up and just has a fear of committing to their relationship. Fast forward to his birthday party, Will breaks up with Amy not knowing that only a in few minutes the world would be hit by all kinds of various disasters citing the coming of Armageddon.

This is the only reason to watch this film

Watching Disaster Movie was a terrible pain but probably not as bad as watching Superhero Movie. It reminds of the time you used to date a girl who you ended up breaking up with because she had a strange after taste every time you kissed her, for a girl who generally has a strange smelling after taste every time you stood next to her. The negative similarities are right there for you to see. The movie in no particular way brought me any joy whatsoever and I am still nowhere closer to eternal happiness. There were times when punching myself in the knee felt like a better situation than enduring one bad joke after the other. After watching this movie you can almost say that good Spoof Movies are almost truly dead.

Ratings – 1/5

Highs – I AM BEOWULF, Vanessa Minnillo and Kim Kardashian

Lows – The jokes are too long

Trailer: Max Payne

Here’s the trailer of Max Payne which should be out in KL on the 16th of October. I’m a big fan of the game and Mark Wahlberg (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch) will be playing Max in this shoot-em-up from hell. Don’t think this movie is going to be classic but looks quite sweet from the trailer. So what do you guys think?