JiGerJag Speaks : The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Fresh from "She's Out of My League" and the voice of Hiccup in HTTYD, Jay Baruchel is set to be 2010's Michael Cera. To seal his status transition from an Apatow film B Lister to "A" Lister, Baruchel stars as David Stutler in this summer's "distraction from Inception" film, The Sorceror's Apprentice.

Helmed by Disney and guided by a stringy haired Nicolas "My Uncle is a Coppola" Cage and Alfred "Couldn't Find Work" Molina, Baruchel plays the underdog-geek-who-gets-the-blonde with aplomb. The story starts with a climatic fight scene backflash ala Xena the Warrior Princess, Hercules and other made-for-TV Greco myth-legend types, or in this case, the Middle Ages, with Merlin and his 3 apprentices at the crux of the story.

HODOUKEN!!

Nic Cage, plays Balthazar Blake, who along with Alfred Molina (Maxim Horvath) and Monica Bellucci (say wut??) who plays the beautiful Veronica, gets embroiled in a 1000 year battle between good and evil (Morgana). Balthazar and Maxim both falls in love with Veronica, which is a no-no for any practitioner of the ART. I refer to sorcery and not self-pleasure. Maxim then switches alliance to Morgana who kills Merlin. To thwart her evil plan of the destruction of the human race (which is no big deal really in the Middle Ages, imho), Veronica sacrifices herself by trapping Morgana in her body and then imprisoning both of them, along with all of Morgana's apprentices in a magical Russian Doll type prison. Balthazar has to scour the earth for centuries to find THE ONE who will wear Merlin's Dragon Ring, the ultimate Merlinite, front page material of Sorcery World digest.... who turns out to be the geeky, never-gonna-look-at-you-twice-in-real-life-ain't-dissing-just-keeping-it-real-yo Physics major student, Baruchel. Balthazar and David must then embark on a quest to destroy Morgana for good. Along the way, they meet Maxim, Becky (David's childhood crush) and Drake Stone, a celebrity magician who becomes Maxim's aide, undoubtedly, a jibe at modern day "illusionists".

Day 1 and he's already forgotten his owl

It's a simple enough story, with predictable one-liners (surely, you saw that one coming) and 2 dimensional characters. There were classic master-apprentice moments between Balthazar and David, though the chemistry between them was like watching Nic Cage make out with Angelina Jolie... or anyone for that matter. There was so much that could have been done given the expanse of technology when it comes to magic and sorcery (case in point, Harry Potter types) that the film came across as being lazy with the laughs and cheap with the gimmicks. Of course there was a love interest for David. And of course she was blonde and hot. And of course if David was not a sorceror, she would NEVER look twice at him. And of course there's a pivotal scene where she goes "You seem different." after David undergoes training and gains self-confidence. No hints how it's all going to end. Did Spain win the World Cup? Uh-huh.

Excusez-moi

If you are hungry for kul es ais magic tricks and effects, this film did have its finer moments. Being a Disney studio production, a nostalgic scene of the original Sorceror's Apprentice,does make an appearance. Also, look out for the Hungarian Mirror Trap which is pretty kul es ais in my books. Other than that, waiting for The Sorceror's Apprentice to astound you is like trying to find that elusive sweet kernel of popcorn that somehow made its way into your large bag of salted.

JiGerJag's rating - 2.5/5

Special MobieDick thanks to JiGerJag for her contribution. Some of her other reviews can also be found on this site and when entering the state of Limbo.